Harry Potter in the DC Universe
by Azriella Helsing
Summary: Harry Potter becomes the Joker. Absolute crack, but dark? I don't know if that's a thing? No abuse towards Harley Quinn, Dumbledore bashing, Harry stabs Voldemort in the eye with a pencil... I don't know exactly where this is going, but it should be an interesting ride! Rated M to be safe
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING! ALL RIGHTS TO RESPECTIVE OWNERS!

Character List

Harry Potter: Joker

Hermione Granger: Riddler

Ron Weasley: Harley Quinn*

*No outright physical abuse though, sorry!

Draco Malfoy: Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin**

**His parents are still gonna be alive though. Probably extra, too.

Fred/George Weasley: Harvey Two Face

Ginny: Poison Ivy

Severus Snape: Mr. Freeze

Voldemort: Dracula/Alucard

Luna Lovegood: Count(ess) Vertigo

McGonagall: Older!Catwoman

Others to be added as I think of them.

Warning! This is a dark!Harry dark!trio dark!basically everybody story

No idea who Dumbles is gonna be. There will, however, be some Dumbledore bashing ahead.

CHAPTER ONE

The pale man stood in the graveyard. That Harry Potter had just escaped his clutches yet again was not making him happy. (Understatement) Harry had thrown some kind of bomb at Voldemort (for that was the man's name), which had made everything pitch black, even to his hyper vampire senses. He had heard the brat say something before he left, something about thanking the twins when he saw them again. Then he had apparated away, and when had Harry learned to apparate anyway? That was a sixth year learning curve, if his rather long memory served him correctly. Still, the vampire collected his senses and moved on. He would deal with the brat after he dealt with his followers…

...Followers who were now apparating to his side. Already, he could smell their utter terror at beholding his snakelike face and crimson eyes.

"Welcome, my friends… thirteen years it has been, and yet, you stand before me, as though it were only yesterday… I see that we are still united under the dark mark… OR ARE WE?!" He paused, scenting the air for show. "Guilt… I smell guilt in the air…"

Lucius Malfoy twitched, as though longing to step back, but too scared to further annoy his vampire lord. But Voldemort was already annoyed, and spotted the movement at once.

"Lucius, I believe you lost something of mine… CRUCIO!"

Agony unbearable hit the blond. It seemed to last forever, but was in reality over in minutes. Voldemort stopped to sneer at the weak fool he had called his left hand.

"To ensure that you take better care of other people's things, I believe a lesson is in order… Summon your son. I would speak to him."

Terror for his boy filled Lucius. But he obeyed.

He dared not do anything otherwise.

JUMPCUT!

Harry lay in the grass, clutching at Cedric's body and the Triwizard cup. He hadn't cared much for Cedric, but Cedric had treated him fairly, which is more than anyone besides Hermione, Ron, and the Twins had done. All he knew was that he was at his breaking point, and he could feel coils of evil snaking around inside him. He wasn't traumatized by the fact Voldemort was back. Although he was a right pain in the neck, Harry had been getting bored without his nemesis around.

Hands turned him over. He could hear Dumbledore asking if he was alright. Rather than laugh as he wished to, he forced tears out of his eyes. Opening them, he forced out, "He's back! Voldemort's back! I couldn't leave Cedric, not there! It was so horrible!" Forcing himself to blubber wordlessly, he made sure not to look Dumbledore in the eyes. He may have been an old fool, but he was also a master Legimens. Of course, Harry had no difficulty playing Dumbledore like a fiddle because he was good at acting like he was supposed to in situations like this. He had nearly blown it after Quirrell died, but he had only been eleven at the time. To his mind, that was several lifetimes ago.

Madame Pomfrey came by with a stretcher to take him to the hospital wing. Shooting her a grateful look, Harry allowed himself to be guided onto the stretcher. He knew the fanatic Barty Crouch Jr. would come for him eventually, and the Headmaster dared not cross Madame Pomfrey in her domain. Obliviate her, maybe, but cross her? No. Anyway, Harry knew it would be relatively safe to talk to the Weasleys, his godfather, and Hermione there, and Crouch Jr. would have to defeat a woundless and quite comfortable Harry. He made sure to hold onto his wand, but otherwise allowed his mind to go blank.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note** : Hi everyone! And thank you to my lone reviewer!

I honestly do not think this is going to be a time travel fic, I just think Harry is just wicked smart in this. I might be persuaded to do some slash, but I can't decide on a couple yet. (It will probably be Batjokes because I'm trash for that, but I could be persuaded to do Snarry or Tomarry.) I still cannot decide on what Dumbles is going to be! I'm thinking Male!Amanda Waller, but I'm not 100% on that. Again, I own nothing, I regret nothing. Let's do this!

Harry was sitting in the hospital wing when Barty Jr. came for him. Unfortunately, he was not alone.

"I've come to prove my worth to the Dark Lord, Potter!" said Draco, "By bringing him your head!"

-Ten minutes earlier-

Voldemort examined the pompous blond in front of him. Draco's father was shaking in terror behind the boy, but the boy seemed unperturbed. Voldemort aimed to change that.

"From now on, Draco, you will be my new Left Hand. You will be my most trusted servant-"

"Hold on! I am a Malfoy! And Malfoys do not serve."

Voldemort threw back his head and laughed. Good manners be damned, every follower except the Malfoys took a collective step back. Lucius was horrified that his boy could have made such a mistake, and Draco was just plain stupid.

"CRUCIO!" Voldemort put the Malfoy boy under intense pain for several minutes, to break the boy's foolish resolve. Draco's screams filled the graveyard, but all in vain. No one was coming to save him, not even his own father. When Draco's throat could no longer produce cries of agony, Voldemort relented.

"Imperio." said Voldemort, now that he was calmer.

"I am Draco Malfoy, I will be your server." came the rasping response.

A few potions from Snape, who was properly subdued after seeing the harm done to his godson, and the boy could talk again.

Voldemort leered menacingly. "As my new left hand, your first task is simple. Bring me Harry Potter's head."

Lucius gasped.

"Something troubles you, Lucius? Hmm?" Voldemort purred.

"My Lord, forgive me, but there is no possible way for my son to succeed in the task you give him! We will be mopping him up off the floor once Potter is finished with him!" Lucius blurted. Then he tensed, expecting a crucio or for his lord to drain him dry.

Instead, Voldemort grinned, flashing elegantly curved fangs. They were bright white and eager for the coming blood stains on their smooth surfaces.

"I know, Lucius." Voldemort said. "I know."

-A few moments later-

"Chorus Corpus!" shouted Harry, before either man or boy could react. The curse, aimed at Barty Jr., was merely a distraction, however. While Malfoy was occupied with Barty singing a what the Muggles called a "goth song," Harry was already aiming at Draco with another spell on his lips.

"Sectumsempra!" Harry yelled. The force of the spell hitting Draco's neck knocked him down, sending his wand clattering away from his nerveless fingers. Fortunately, Harry had just missed the major veins and arteries. Unfortunately, it was still a neck wound, and Draco could bleed out if help did not arrive soon.

For the second time that evening, no help was coming.

"Oh, Barty~" Singsonged Harry. "I have a proposition for you."

Barty did his best to face Harry, but twirled soon anyway. He was still singing.

"~Don't tell your parents you're here, They will soon be mourners!/Welcome to the Lower Birth, the Greatest Show Unearthed…"

Barty was now swaying near Draco's bleeding body. Harry just grinned. A grin which turned into a full blown chuckle when Barty slipped in the pool of blood and fell, still dancing when he landed.

"Someone looks naughty." Harry remarked. "But about my proposition… SILENCIO!"

Barty went silent, still twitching in an effort to dance.

"I want to have an official meeting with your master, on my terms. Also, I want him to have these." Harry cast the countercurse and handed Barty a whoopie cushion and a handgun.

"Borrowed these off the twins." He grinned. "Remind me to send them a few galleons."

After Crouch Jr. disapparated, Harry sighed, looking at Draco.

"I suppose I cannot kill you yet." He glanced up and spoke to the double doors. "You guys can come in, now."

Sirius, Ron, Hermione and Madame Pomfrey spilled into the room.

Hermione was the first to speak. "Riddle me this-"

Harry cracked a genuine smile. It was still frightening™. But it was genuine. "I dare you to say that to Tommy-boy."

Ron stared. "Hey, puddin? Did you just refer to the Dark Lord as 'Tommy-boy'?"

Harry smirked. "I did. Now, what are we going to do about Dumbles? I am sick of dealing with his contradictory rules and general bullshit. I have set up a meeting with the Dark Lord, but we will need a more immediate plan if that does not go well."

"Of course it will go well, puddin! You planned it!" Ron exclaimed.

Harry let out an honest to god giggle.

"You're quite right, Ronnie."


End file.
